| Titulo: What to do in dating a girl |
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Publicado: Monday 30 de March de 2026, 11:53
Article about what to do in dating a girl: I',ve got experience living in China and dating Chinese women. Dating and romance in China (a man’s guide) “Everybody needs somebody” – so goes the song by the Blues Brothers. It’s true that everyone needs a companion. GO TO SITE So if you’re going to be in China for a while, read on to find out what dating and romance in China is like from a guy’s perspective. My background. Even though I was a typical noisy and inquisitive child, I found myself growing more and more shy and reserved as I got older. By the time I reached high school in the UK, many of my classmates were in relationships. During break time, I saw many couples walking around hand-in-hand. But I was alone, unhappily single. At the ripe old age of 21, I finally decided that I’d had enough of the single life. I joined a dating agency and started receiving lists containing the contact details of various girls. One of my most memorable experiences was meeting a Russian girl named Ludmilla whose journalist father had been posted to London. But she’s a stutterer, so whenever I rang her, I couldn’t understand a word she said! I eventually gave up and promised to write to Ludmilla instead. When she replied, it was only to say that she’d met someone else. However, I found out that her twin sister, Maria, was interested in meeting me. Maria and I soon became an item. What are the chances? We dated for a while, and things were looking good. However, Maria was unable to find a job in the UK and, in a twist of fate, the medical condition she had started deteriorating. She would have severe mood swings and start crying for no reason. Even the doctors weren’t able to accurately diagnose exactly what she was suffering from and she was eventually sent to a care home where she remains to this day. I wasn’t able to support her financially or emotionally, so we broke up. While I did have some positive dating experiences in the UK, you can see why I was looking forward to starting afresh in China when I came here to teach English. What can you expect from a relationship with a Chinese girl? Now that I’ve been in China for quite a few years, I’ve really learned the lay of the land. For starters, there’s a misconception in China that all foreigners are rich. It’s not uncommon for young Chinese women to put in a great deal of effort learning English in school so she can bag a foreign boyfriend. A Chinese girl in her mid-twenties or older would also be looking for, not merely a boyfriend, but a potential future husband. Many Chinese women want to get married by age 30. In fact, it would be extremely unlikely that such a woman would be willing to go out on a date with a man unless she has very strong feelings for him as a potential spouse. This is exacerbated by society’s pressure of marriage. If you’re a single Chinese woman in your late 20s, sadly you’re referred to as a leftover woman (‘sheng nu’ in Mandarin). It can be quite scary for a foreigner to be put under this kind of pressure at an early stage in a relationship. So, be warned that this is something you may need to deal with. What do Chinese women look for in a man? Many Chinese women insist that any prospective suitors own a property in China and provide a bride price. My ex-girlfriend wanted an apartment costing RMB 700,000 – this is almost US$100,000! This was in addition to the RMB 150,000 (US$21,000) bride price. January and February are rather expensive months to be having a relationship in China. Both Valentine’s Day and the Chinese Spring Festival fall around this time. Unlike many Western women, a Chinese woman won’t be satisfied with flowers or chocolates. Oh no, she’ll be expecting something much more expensive – think iPhones, Chanel perfume or gold jewelry. Chinese women want more expensive gifts than a bunch of flowers. If you object on the grounds of expense, this is what she’ll say: “If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t want your gifts. Some years ago, another man was chasing me. He was rich, he had an apartment and a car, but I didn’t love him so I didn’t want anything from him.” She’ll make it sound as if lavishing money on her is a privilege that you should be grateful for. In a nutshell – as harsh as it may sound – Chinese women want men who are rich and stable. Other customs when dating in China. When it comes to Chinese dating and romance, there are some other customs you need to be aware of. Finances. Men are expected to pay for everything when on a date in China. In a serious relationship, you’ll have to buy gifts not just for your girlfriend, but also for her parents. Many Chinese women expect to control all the money in a marriage. Parents. Meeting your girlfriend’s parents is tantamount to committing to marriage. Your girlfriend can’t go abroad with you to meet your parents until after marriage. A Chinese woman is closest to her mother so how well you get along with your girlfriend’s mother can determine the success or failure of the relationship. Traits of a typical Chinese woman. They can be stubborn and inflexible. Many expect a life of luxury after marriage and to be provided for by their husbands. They may not be willing to marry for better or for worse. One of my ex-girlfriends wanted to leave me when she found out I had hypertension! It isn’t beneath them to lie to you to ‘save face’. In addition, many Chinese women seem to follow the rules only when it suits them. Let me explain: in return for the bride price, it’s customary for the woman’s side to buy a car or to furnish the apartment. But if the woman doesn’t come from a rich family, she’ll insist that she’s exempt from following her own customs. Chinese women follow customs when it suits them. And they’re certainly not going to discard their customs in favor of those of their foreign husband’s, especially in their own country! Some Chinese girls will be reluctant to get into a relationship with a foreigner. They know that at some point, you’ll leave the country and she’ll have to decide whether to follow you (if she’s able to) or break up with you. My experience dating in China. Some of you may think I’ve generalized too much. This may be true to an extent, but let me share some personal dating experiences in China with you. Then you can make up your mind. Romance in the workplace. I once taught at a university where many students who chose to major in English were female. The temptation to break the golden rule of teaching English in China – never get in to a romantic relationship with a student – was high. However, after seeing one or two male teachers get fired for doing exactly that, I thought the better of it and decided to look elsewhere. At one of the universities that I’ve taught at, I really fancied three of the Chinese teachers. After a lot of persuasion, I managed to get my counterpart teacher to agree to join me for dinner one night. Unfortunately, I was ultimately rejected because she was looking for a local guy and not a foreigner. I turned to the internet. I then turned to the internet. On dating sites, I came across many girls who couldn’t speak English. And not every girl who I sent a message to would reply. If the attraction was mutual, and we could understand each other, we’d exchange WeChat IDs with a view to meeting up. I actually met my first girlfriend in China this way. Her name was Angela and we first started chatting online in 2014. Our conversations became more frequent until eventually, we were chatting every day. We even fell in love online so that by the time we went on our first date seven months later, we were already a couple. I found love on the internet. Then the demands started. She wanted expensive gifts, she asked for an apartment (only in her city, nowhere else) and a huge dowry. But she wasn’t willing to move with me to where my job was. |
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