| Titulo: How to get out more and make friends |
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Publicado: Sunday 19 de April de 2026, 07:50
Article about how to get out more and make friends: Not enough friends, or too many superficial friends or toxic friends? Try these steps to work toward the relationships you',ve wanted. 10 Ways to Make (and Keep) Friendships as an Adult. Click here for How to get out more and make friends When it comes to relationships, romance often grabs the spotlight. A simple glance in the self-help aisle of any bookstore reveals a thousand ways to Get a Mate/Keep a Mate/Dump a Mate/Get Over a Mate—perhaps there are even tips on how to Moisturize A Mate—and yet so few words written on friendship, which is one reason I wrote my book The Friendship Fix . In my years of practice and research as a clinical psychologist, I’ve learned something that comes as a surprise to many: It’s friend relationships that often make up the highs and lows of our lives, and in some ways, they affect our daily well-being even more than our family does. For better or for worse, friend relationships, or the lack thereof, can largely determine our happiness. They help us develop the rhythm of our days and can even shape our goals and our dreams, encouraging us to become who we want to be. Despite their vital importance, though, true friendships in adulthood can be much harder to make and maintain than they were during the golden days of lunchboxes or the late-night camaraderie of dorm rooms. Take heart: If you’re willing to set your mind to it, you too can develop outstanding friendships that help you thrive in ways you never thought possible. 1. Make it a health issue. Solid friendships are crucial to your physical—yes, physical —health. Did you know that poor-quality social support is the mortality-risk equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes per day? Or that supportive friendships in your 20s are a solid predictor of being alive at 70? Genuine, nourishing friendships boost your immune system, improve your prognosis with various chronic health conditions, and lower your blood pressure—and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Emotionally, they help reduce your risk of disorders from depression and post-traumatic stress disorder to anxiety disorders and substance abuse. If you’re great with your gym regimen but keep putting off having lunch with the person who most makes you laugh, shuffle your priorities a bit. 2. Embrace quality and ditch quantity. We know this intuitively, and we can probably acknowledge that our 500th Facebook friend relationship is not the bearer of much emotional sustenance. And research suggests we may actually be lonelier now despite having more “friends” than before. But despite this, many of us spend countless hours every week spinning our wheels within some very superficial friendships, getting caught up in a minefield of bland emails or generic texts or the endless treadmill of social networking. We may spend hours each day fiddling on Instagram or Facebook, typing LOL under a video we didn’t even bother to watch, but doing nothing to make true connections—all the while feeling too “busy” to go out and form friendships that are much more real. 3. Ride out transitions. Not only is it harder to make new friends when you no longer have the automatic proximity you had to peers in your school days, but it is common (and natural) to have friendships wither away when life transitions shift the relationship—from a geographical move to a change in job to marriage, kids, retirement, health issues, or divorce. Many of us are bereft after a life transition—feeling ashamed of the fact that we seemingly don’t have many friends anymore—and yet it is quite a normal problem to have. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person, and everyone goes through it at some point. Those that emerge better off than before are the ones who take it as a logistical challenge to overcome, not as something to be embarrassed about. 4. Expect—and even embrace—false starts . Making friends takes effort, and here’s a reality check: You need some failed attempts. Would you expect to marry the first person you ever dated? Not every friendship you attempt will get off the ground, either. It’s not something to take personally, building friendships is a process that takes time, and is in many ways a numbers game. And here’s the beautiful thing about false starts: Each and every one gives you a little more insight about how to refine your friend search, and it gets you a little bit closer to finding a good match. 5. Commit to community. Friendship is not just about a one-on-one relationship, but it can also entail the good feelings you get from being part of something bigger than you. Traditional communities involve neighborhoods, workplaces, and places of worship, but new ones can be built in any way you desire. Think of interests you have that you might have some time to devote to. How to get out more and make friends |
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